Outsmarted by a simple modem … or was I

Our connection to the internet was playing up so my wife went and asked Vodafone what to do. They gave us a grubby old cable to test … which turned out to be a dud cable.
So the declared the problem too complex for modern techniques to solve. They then gave us a cool new, smaller modem which looks like it would go faster.

The modem/dongle/gadget even comes with its own software installed. So it uninstalled our out of date and uncool (I assume) technology and installed its own version.

It then worked really well for a bit but started mucking around by creating new connectsion to itself and saying it was already in use (kind of like a worker booking a meeting to get out of work I guess).

So I went in and changed random settings for a while (I told my wife I was using complex IT problem solving techniques). Now it seems to work perfectly.

But who knows if I have improved the settings or just scared it into not wanting me to change anything else.


About James King

I coach organisations in how to better make use of the untapped talent they have in their people and to explore new ways of understanding and solving new and old problems I live in Sydney with my wife and daughter and have no real hobbies beyond the usual boring ones of reading, writing and watching tv.
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4 Responses to Outsmarted by a simple modem … or was I

  1. Tom Bosley says:

    next time it happens try this:

    1. power everything down

    2. unplug and disconnect the modem

    3. open the modem (some of them are not designed to be opened so you may need a hammer or strong teeth and agile wrists)

    4. make sure the yellow urntz cable is connected to the hip socket

    5. jostle the replicator drive

    6. flip the jump switch

    7. switch the flip jump

    8. adjust the loop speed

    9. set the kink limits to 1200 and 56000 respectively

    10. make a sandwich

    11. close the modem (use duct tape if the casing is cracked or put it all in an empty bread bag if the casing is obliterated)

    12. eat your sandwich

    13. power everything up (PC>router>modem)

    14. go to a DOS prompt and ping the bounce node

    15. type 10 print “i’ve got a boner” 20 goto 10 run

    16. exit DOS

    17. go to http://www.mechanicallyseparatedpork.com and download the N35V2a1 driver

    18. try and remember if you have any coke in the fridge. if you don’t, think about how great it would be to have a coke right now.

    19. set your network hover rate to 9.6 baud

    20. change your screen refresh rate to something different than what it is now

    21. divide everything by 12

    22. give up

  2. jamesking42 says:

    I think your hover rate is wrong. Everything else worked perfectly. But I didn’t give up until I used a hover rate of 3678. That seemed to be a better solution

  3. Tom Bosley says:

    for the hover rate anything over 3,000 is just marketing hype. it’s logarithmic. you are partially correct though. hover rates can vary depending on the shatter load that has been assigned to your local node by your broadband provider. for other readers i suggest starting at 9.6 and then keep doubling it until you hit the sweet spot.

    also, if you have a motorola brand modem and you are ever tinkering around with the software, check out the unicircuit code structure. there is a great recipe for french onion soup embedded in the middle.

  4. jamesking42 says:

    Thanks Tom. That certainly clarifies the issue for me and my readers.

    It is interesting to not though that the other providers have not yet adopted Motorola’s approach to embedded recipes

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